10 Different Types of Stoners

Added by on 2014-06-26

10 Different Types of Stoners

Everyone’s different. We learn this from a very young age, we are constantly trying to figure out what we like and what we don’t like. Each person has their own way of doing things, this makes the world go round.

The same goes for stoners, there are 10 Different Types of Stoners and we are all unique in our own special way.

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Next time you’re in rotation with your friends or maybe even just randomly smoking with fellow stoners, take a look around. Decide for yourself who is who. It can be quit interesting and fun realizing your friends unique traits of smoking the marijuana goodness. The 10 Different Types of Stoners are:

1. The Paranoid Stoner

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Oh my, this stoner! Haha. He/she can’t stop thinking somethings going wrong. “Everyones looking at me, why? Why, Am I laughing too much? What should I say? Should I just say nothing? Ah, I’m too high!” Just calm the down and chill out. Everything is going to be all right. Ride it out.

2. The Klutz

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This stoner is somehow always managing to break the piece. He reaches for his Gatorade and knocks over your most treasured bong. Best bet is to keep your beloved pieces outta harms way from his guy, maybe bubble wrap the bong when it’s his turn to rip.

3. The Mcguyver

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Awesome stoner! This stoner is always coming up with new ways to smoke the reefer. He makes his own bongs, pipes and any other smoking creation he can master up. Be prepared to get hella stoned in new ways!

4. The Chemist

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The Stoner Chemist loves to smoke dabs. He’s got his gear with him and he’s ready to torch this shit. Items he brings along: his torch, his dab tool, his nail, and not to forget his bong. He’s a true mad scientist! Take a dab and get blown away. This THC is gonna knock your socks off. “A Dab Will Do Ya!”

5. The Contact High Guy 

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This guy/girl really isn’t a “true” stoner. Although they call them self’s a stoner, they never actually takes a hit. They just sits in the room with everyone and get “high” from a smoke filled room. Make em’ actually take a rip next time and show them the beauty of sweet Mary Jane.

6. The Coach

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The Coach is the type of stoner who is always explaining the best way how to take a hit, how long to hold it, and what kind of strand gets you the highest. He goes on and on about sativas vs. indicas and don’t forget your hybrids. Just humor this guy and shake your head. Most likely he probably does have a few good pointers up his sleeve.

7. The Closest Smoker Dad 

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Give it up for this Stoner! He deserves a gold metal. He’s the ultimate OG Stoner, he created the art of smoking pot. He’s a hippy at heart and will always have a love for marijuana. Now that he’s older and wiser he just hides the fact of being a pothead. Always listen to what he has to say and remember to respect your elders!

8. The Sneak A Toker

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Oh man, oh man! This stoner is poping up in rotation again and again. He’s stealing the next persons hit but no one seems to notice. He is a true master in disguise – The Sneak A Toker Smoker. Keep your red eyes open for this sneaky son of a gun!

9. The Quitter 

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This stoner is the stoner who is always trying to quit smoking the ganja. He’s gotta get clean for that new job he wants, his girlfriend is always threating to break up unless he quits, he’s trying to become “healthier” and the list goes on. The problem with this guy is he never seems to understand he’s just giving excuses. Dude your a stoner! Just be cool with it and get over the bullshit.

10. The Story Teller 

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You’re in for trouble! Ha ha. This stoner never passes the blunt. they continuously talk aimlessly about “this one time” and “you gotta try this new..” He talks and talks and talks some more while chiefing on that blunt he’s suppose to pass. You’re gonna just have to grab the blunt out of his hand and be like dude… really? Puff, puff, pass!

Written By: Missy Blazen

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10 Different Types of Stoners

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7 Comments

  • Phycedelic Aria 9 months ago

    true as fuck
    lol

  • Allison 9 months ago

    We have a friend that is a hardcore number 10. Now when anybody is pausing for too long, we call it Joeying.

  • Dove Dozer 9 months ago

    You forgot that emcee/rapper stoner. The one who blazes a bat and makes magic happen.

  • top gun 9 months ago

    i don’t think i’m one of the 10 D: i just like smoking but it is true there are those people…

  • Andrei 8 months ago

    Shit I think im #3 lol

  • Alexander Jones 7 months ago

    I have met all them but I think I am the klutz…. I must’ve broken my friend’s bong couple of times… My friend is the coach he is the master to every newbie near town… He was mine master too….

  • I think most people are a little but of all of them. I think it just depends on the surroundings. Their are a few who are one or two of them.